The Appointment of A Yogi

What Aditya Nath's elevation means for the politics of our time.

When the most dominant political party of our times registers a massive electoral victory in India's largest province & appoints the polarising head of a monastic order as its Chief Minister, there can be no doubt about the direction in which the country's political narrative is heading.

I attempt to highlight here a few plots of this developing narrative.

Religious Animosity Will Be Rewarded: The appointment of the CM is a clear sign that promoting communal discord will not have an adverse effect on your political aspirations. Polarisation as an undercurrent  is not new to electoral politics in India, but never before has a leader been so brazenly rewarded by his/her party for spreading perennial religious animosity & hatred.

A leader, they say, leads by example. If a CM is the leader of a state, which example worth following has Aditya Nath Yogi set for budding politicians other than:  'communal polarisation is electorally rewarding'. Doesn't his appointment despite the trajectory of his political career send out a clear message of rewarding religious animosity? Doesn't it openly ask others to emulate the actions & words of the pre-CM Aditya Nath for political rewards & advancement of their political careers?

A political atmosphere that encourages the propagation of religious animosity may help political parties yield electoral benefits but is sure to leave our social fabric threadbare.

Hindutva & Its Politics Are Here To Stay: It would be wrong to assume that future elections in our polity will be fought and won only on the development plank. In the foreseeable future, elections may be fought on the 'vikas' plank but will actually be won on Hindutva: Aditya Nath Yogi's appointment has made this a surety. If UP's new government fails to make an impression with its work till 2019 (the next LokSabha polls), Aditya Nath's face & speeches will be enough to get his party home in UP, atleast. While development may not reach each house in this short period, the CM's ochre robes will keep Hindutva very much alive in the minds of the voters. Since Hindutva is the BJP's insurance policy, Aditya Nath's appointment is the premium it needed to pay to prevent the policy from lapsing. Despite all the proclamations & hashtags about 'New India', good old Hindutva is here to stay!

Communal Friction & Skirmishes Will Become Banal: The appointment of Aditya Nath Yogi indicates the absolute disregard his party has for communal harmony. During his de facto rule over his parliamentary constituency of Gorakhpur, a locality called Ali Nagar was renamed Arya Nagar & Urdu Bazaar was rechristened Hindi Bazaar. But, these instances of assertive Hindutva had become banal & routine in Gorakhpur under the Aditya Nath regime. Are we on a similar path where incidents of communal tension will become so routine that they will no longer arouse us to seek remedial action?

In India, we've never cared much for the rights of an individual. Minor incidents of communal disharmony donot alarm us. Nobody cares about the long term repercussions or the need for trust-building between communities after such incidents. The normalisation of communal friction can be fatally dangerous for a society. A lynching here, a skirmish there: how is a society expected to function in such a scenario? Or does the ruling party not see us as part of a society but rather only as votes in different encashable vote-banks which can be encashed by introducing a little communal friction? Unfortunately, social & communal harmony is not electorally rewarding as communal tension. A peaceful society is Hindutva's graveyard and a polarised one is Hindutva's paradise.

@theworldlymonk

The Naiveness of Demonetisation

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word 'naive' as 'having or showing a lack of experience or knowledge & deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgement'. More than a month after the PM demonetised 86% of the country's currency, I feel that this word is best suited to describe the entire saga. I don't claim any expertise in macroeconomic affairs nor am I a trained economist, hence the five points that I put forth in support of my argument are from a layman's perspective: supplemented by statistics and eminent opinions.

When I first heard the PM on the evening of the 8th of November, the manner in which he enunciated every tiny detail of the scheme, made it seem as if (i) for the next 50 days everything would work in a utopian manner or (ii) there would be unmitigated chaos & disarray. Gradually, as the demonetisation saga began to unfold, it became clear that the latter assumption was true & the best way to describe everything-from the idea to the implementation-was 'naive'.

Firstly, to think that demonetisation will end all black money is completely naive. As Professor Arun Kumar of Jawaharlal Nehru University's Centre for Economic Studies and Planning & author of The Black Economy in India often points out, to assume that the majority of the black money is 'kept under mattresses' as cash is naive. Prof. Kumar argues that demonetisation cannot unearth 'black wealth' which is different from 'black cash'. According to most estimates, illegal cash is just 3-5% of the total black economy in India. A committee formed by the Central Board of Direct Taxes in 2012 had explicitly stated in its report that "Demonetisation may not be a solution to tackle black money in the economy which is largely held in the form of benami properties, bullion and jewellery." To subject the entire country to a rigorous exercise without any guaranteed efficacy of the scheme is criminally naïve.

Secondly, the government underestimated the hoarders of black cash. In his first reaction to the demonetisation exercise, former RBI governor Raghuram Rajan said: '...the clever always find ways around it.' The government naively assumed that black money hoarders will have nowhere to go after demonetisation and all their black money will thus be rendered useless. However, as Rajan had predicted, black money hoarders activated all their connections, called in favours & exploited loopholes to keep their cash afloat. Arguably, the motherboard of all illegal cash in India is the business/politics-real estate-bureaucracy nexus. The government failed to comprehend that this nexus has a strong symbiotic relationship and it won't let demonetisation unfold in an unbiased & utopian manner. The government naively assumed that those with black money are 'societal orphans': with no one to turn to during a crisis like demonetisation; when, in fact, the very black money that they hold makes them the most well-connected individuals in society.

Third, the government naively endowed the not-so-holy banks with 'absolute power' (the one that corrupts absolutely) for the demonetisation exercise. The government naively overlooked the various instances of corruption that have emerged in the banking sector at regular intervals and just assumed that they would set aside their usual malpractices and function in the most idealistic manner while being colossally overworked at the same time. Even a cursory look at the allegations that surfaced against banks & bank employees in the last one year itself should have dissuaded the government from bestowing them with such exclusive powers. In October of 2015, a news channel reported how Bank of Baroda had facilitated hawala transactions to the tune of Rs. 6000 crores. A CBI investigation is underway. In the same month, CBI registered cases against unnamed IDBI Bank officials for sanctioning a loan of Rs. 900 crores to Kingfisher Airlines despite its negative credit rating. One cannot but assume that the piling NPAs across banks are partly due to the collusion of bank employees. In its monthly performance report, the Central Vigilance Commission, in April 2016, stated that it had registered 149 cases of corruption against various bank employees: ranging from part-time sweepers to Chief Manager. Even if one were to argue that these allegations are only against a minuscule minority of bank employees, shouldn't it have made the government think twice before giving them sole ownership of the new currency? Moreover, wasn't it naive on the part of the government to assume that once given such absolute authority, the banks wouldn't misuse it and won't go rogue?

Fourth, the government naively forgot to consider the hardships rural India would face during the entire demonetisation exercise given the poor coverage of the banking system in these areas. According to RBI figures (Aug 2016), only 38% of total bank branches in India are in semi-urban & rural areas. Similarly, only one-sixth of the total 2,01,182 ATMs in India (June 2016) are in rural areas. Due to such low density of the banking system, rural Indians largely depend on banking correspondents & regional co-operative banks for their monetary needs. Though the co-operative banks were rightly denied new currency (they are mostly controlled by regional politicians), shouldn't the government have made special alternate arrangements for rural areas? Moreover, the timing of demonetisation couldn't have been worse for rural India: it came at the beginning of the Rabi sowing season when farmers need cash-in-hand the most. The government added to the woes of rural India when it discontinued exchanging of notes suddenly and before the pre-decided deadline. The government naively overlooked the fact that most of rural India is unbanked and doesn't have bank accounts to deposit cash. A Twitter user very aptly pointed out that the government should have kept in mind 'Gandhiji's Talisman' (found in all NCERT textbooks) to understand rural India's plight before imposing demonetisation.

The government exhibited its fifth naivety when it began propagating cashless payments when the demonetisation-induced cash crunch hit people. The government of a country which lacks even basic economic literacy naively assumed that there is widespread digital literacy and everyone has access to cashless payments. A report commissioned by the World Bank, published in November 2015, stated that only 53% Indians have bank accounts: of which 43% are inactive. The report also stated that only a meagre 15% use bank accounts for making or receiving payments. The Pradhan Mantri Jan Dhan Yojana (PMJDY) added a whopping 22 crore accounts to India's banking system without any visible improvement in banking infrastructure or economic literacy. A majority of these accounts were either lying dormant or had zero or one-rupee balance until demonetisation. Given the above facts, how could the government be so naive as to assume that such an economy would seamlessly shift to cashless modes overnight? As far as access to cashless payments is concerned, only 39% of those who have bank accounts have an ATM/debit card. Even among these cardholders, digital literacy is low: most are unaware about the 'dos and donts' of plastic money and become easy targets for cyber criminals. In October this year 32 lakh SBI ATM-cum-debit cards were compromised due to a malware in a payment network. Awareness about OTPs, CVV, passwords, e-wallets, card skimming & cloning is extremely limited (a few Hindi newspapers use the word 'swap' machines instead of 'swipe'!!). Nothing demonstrates the government's naiveness more than its assumption that cashless India or even less-cash India is just a step away. Let's achieve rural sanitation first!!

In conclusion, one does wonder whether anything was planned or thought out about demonetisation other than the PM's speech! New notifications issued each and every day have made a mockery of the RBI and the Finance Ministry. The government keeps changing the narrative of demonetisation each time it finds itself in a spot. Deadlines are arbitrarily withdrawn, and illogical and varying time-frames are being given for normalisation. The PM revealed his naivety when he announced that it would take only 50 days for currency and liquidity to return to the economy. As per the most optimistic figures, it may take atleast 95 days just to bring the equivalent of the demonetised currency back into the economy. Who knows how long it might take to bring back the pre-demonetisation liquidity? Certainly not fifty days.

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From 'Mr. Robot' to 'O.J. Simpson': English Entertainment in India is More Exciting Than Ever Before

A few days ago, the most prestigious awards for primetime American television, the 68th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards, were announced. As I watched the live telecast of the ceremony (from 4:30am to 8:30am IST!), I realised that not only almost all the shows that won Emmys (at the main ceremony, not the Creative Arts ceremony) but also a large majority of the nominated shows, had been or were being aired on Indian television. 

Channels like Star World Premiere HD, Colors Infinity, Comedy Central, AXN, Zee Cafe & Star World already gave a taste of the Emmy-winning/nominated shows to Indian audiences over the past several months. Big winners at this year's Emmys like Game of Thrones, Veep, American Crime Story: The People vs O. J. Simpson (Star World Premiere HD); Mr. Robot (Colors Infinity); Orphan Black, Sherlock, The Voice (AXN); Saturday Night Live (Comedy Central); & Downton Abbey (Star World) had already premiered on Indian English entertainment channels. Other nominated shows like House of Cards, The Big Bang Theory (Zee Café); Better Call Saul, Fargo (Colors Infinity); Silicon Valley, The Night Manager, The Americans (Star World Premiere HD); Key & Peele, Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Comedy Central), Modern Family, UnReal, Empire, Homeland (Star World) have also been served to Indian audiences. This made me think: isn't this the best time to be watching English entertainment in India? I personally feel that with the highest number of HD channels than ever before, instant premieres & gradually diluting censorship, the English entertainment genre on Indian television has never been as competitive and exciting as it is now!

A couple of days from now, the famed 'Fall TV Season' starts in the US - with fresh seasons of running shows and a bunch of new shows on each entertainment network. This used to be a time when most English entertainment enthusiasts in India downloaded torrents of their favourite new episodes & watched simultaneously with their US telecasts. However, they were in for a shock when a couple of months ago, the popular (though copyright-infringing) torrent website 'Kickass' was shutdown (the homepage of the site now has intimidating photos of badges of US law enforcement agencies!). However, a quick survey of the English entertainment channels in India now offers some consolation for those who hate playing the waiting game when it comes to their favourite English entertainment. I am talking about the 'instant premieres' phenomenon that started only a few years ago and is now being offered across channels in this competitive genre.

In September 2013, the Star Group in India launched a new English entertainment channel 'Star World Premiere HD' with the tagline 'You See It First' dedicated to telecasting the freshest content from the US to Indian audiences. This was a time when shows like Homeland, Castle, The Blacklist inter alia were gaining popularity. Soon, Zee Café also began airing the latest episodes of its most popular offering The Big Bang Theory just a few days after its US telecast with the tagline 'Along With The U.S.' Next, we had AXN also delivering latest episodes to its viewers with the tagline 'Fresh From The U.S.' In July 2015, Colors Infinity arrived and began delivering the quickest ever premieres of US shows in India (within half an hour of their US telecast) with the tagline 'Instant Premieres'. Recently, Comedy Central also announced its offering of premieres from the US with the tagline 'Watch with the World'. Check out your favourite channel's listings to know which of your favourite shows are returning with fresh episodes & which new show catches your eye. Here's a quick look:

Star World : How To Get Away With Murder, Season 3; The Blacklist, Season 4; Empire, Season 3; Quantico, Season 2; Pitch (New).

Colors Infinity : Mr. Robot, Season 2; Blindspot, Season 2; Tyrant, Season 3; Arrow, Season 5; Notorious (New), Timeless (New).

Comedy Central : Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Season 4; Dr. Ken, Season 2; Suits, Season 6; The Graham Norton Show, Season 20.

Star World Premiere HD : Westworld, Quarry, This Is Us, Better Things (All New); American Horror Story, Season 6.

Zee Cafe : The Big Bang Theory, Season 10; Secrets & Lies, Season 2; Supergirl, Season 2; Lethal Weapon (New); Gotham, Season 3.

AXN : Elementary, Season 5; Ray Donovan, Season 4; Supernatural, Season 12; Bull (New); MacGyver (New).

English entertainment channels in India are now acquiring global content like never before. In July 2014, AXN India signed a multi-year deal with CBS Studios, USA for airing their shows in India. When Netflix arrived in India earlier this year, it couldn't offer its flagship show House of Cards to viewers because Zee Café had already acquired the show's India rights in 2013! Star World received a major boost when HBO, before exiting the Indian market last year, gave it access to its huge content library in a major deal. Despite the fact that English entertainment viewership is still substantially low compared to Hindi & regional entertainment, the constant efforts these channels are making to bring the best content to the discerning viewer in India is quite commendable.

The only problem at this stage seems to be the perennial one: censorship. Different channels implement different levels of the mandatory self-censorship. In my experience, FX & Star World appear to be on the stricter side whereas Comedy Central is much more liberal. Channels have now begun using the 11pm slot to air content with minimum censorship. Zee Café has labeled the 11pm slot 'UnCut' and airs episodes of The Big Bang Theory. Moreover with the option of torrents as good as gone, wouldn't we rather watch the mildly censored episodes than miss out completely?

From just 1 HD channel in 2011, the English entertainment genre in India now boasts of 7 HD channels and zero SD-only channels. Each channel now has an accompanying HD feed. It's perhaps the most promising space right now on TV. Hop on and enjoy English drama, comedy and talk-shows like never before in India!

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6 Points To Consider Before You Rush for a Jio SIM

In the face TRAI scrutiny & criticism from the Cellular Operators Association of India (COAI) for making commercial gains in the garb of extensive 'trial runs', Reliance finally announced the official roll-out of its much awaited 4G service, Jio (Diwali was the previous tentative date, but now it's 5th September, Ganesh Chaturthi).

Print, electronic & social media are all abuzz with what could be a watershed moment in the history of telecommunications in India. But, should you immediately rush to the nearest Jio store and get a SIM/device? Are you fully aware of the technicalities involved? Or are you just too eager to join the bandwagon after yesterday's lucrative announcements?

Well, here's a layman's guide to what Jio entails and whether you should show haste or play the waiting game.

Voice calls ONLY through data network (VoLTE): In layman terms, all voice calls on Jio will be routed through 4G data. In other words, there is no separate voice network in Jio; it is a data-only network. In technical terms, such voice calls are called Voice over LTE network (VoLTE). Theoretically, voice calls on VoLTE networks provide faster connections and superior clarity. However, in India, Jio is the only VoLTE network and hence to connect to other 2G/3G networks for voice calls, it depends on the mercy of the operator receiving the VoLTE call to connect it to their 2G/3G voice network. Jio says it will pay the charges for connecting their VoLTE calls to other networks & the customer will enjoy free voice calls. However, even during the trial phase, Jio was facing a lot of problems in procuring interconnection between its VoLTE network and other networks, resulting in a very high percentage of call drops. Also remember, since Jio's voice calls will be entirely based on this VoLTE technology, if you have a 4G handset that does not support VoLTE technology you will not be able to make voice calls from Jio. Complicated, huh? Update, 5/9/2016: Reliance has stated that 4G handsets that are not VoLTE enabled will be able to make voice calls using the JioJoin app. However, presumably, these calls will be similar to voice calls on apps like Whatsapp, Viber & Skype in quality (not very good) and will use VoIP (Voice over Internet Protocol) technology. Also, data spent on voice calls made from third party apps (such as Whatsapp, Viber & Skype) will be charged.

4G ONLY Network: Jio is only 4G. Which means that if you're somewhere where there is no Jio 4G connectivity, then your SIM is dead. You can't make any calls or browse the internet. There is no 2G/3G network to fall back on. However, Reliance has announced that it will cover 90% of India with 4G by March 2017. But, does a telecom company keep its promises? Ask any consumer!

Data balance will be used in everthing you do on Jio: Technically, voice calls are not free. Voice calls on Jio will consume data from your data pack. In other words, for a voice call, you will not be charged in terms of rupee/paise but in terms of KB/MB of data usage. No doubt voice calls will be much cheaper this way, but your "free" voice calls will be limited to the data available in your plan. [Update, 5/9/2016: After much confusion in the social and electronic media about 'free voice calls', Reliance has promised that data spent on voice calls will NOT be deducted from the consumers' data allocation. However, it is not yet clear whether this benefit will extend beyond the free period or not.] Similarly, whenever you use a Jio app (JioTV, JioChat or JioBeats, etc.) you will have to spend from your allotted data balance. The subscription to these apps is free till Dec 2017 but data usage on them will be deducted from your plan. In simpler words, you buy data from Jio and can then spend it on whatever Jio feature you want. Thus, your use of Jio services is limited by your data pack. Update, 5/9/2016: Reliance has clarified that in video calls (made only through Jio app) only data used for video will be debited from data pack. The data spent on transmitting voice will not be charged. However, how this complex calculation will be made is yet to be seen.

When will you get a Jio hotspot in your area? : A little known feature of the unveiled Jio plans is the 'JioNet Hotspot'. This provides a fixed amount of free data in addition to the allotted quota in each plan at Jio wifi hotspots throughout the country (to be called JioNet Hotspots). Reliance announced that it will setup a million such hotspots across the country in the coming months. So, if you're lucky and have a JioNet Hotspot near your residence or office, enjoy additional data; but if you don't have a hotspot nearby, you're basically missing out on additional data without any reduction in plan prices.

Activation Hassles: In the past few months, Jio was made available to anyone who bought a Reliance Lyf smartphone (even during the test phase). The activation process became cumbersome and time-consuming once news of the 3-month Jio Preview Offer spread. The trial phase infrastructure was not meant to handle such a high number of activation requests and even today most complaints about Jio in social media are about Jio SIMs not getting activated even after a fortnight. So, unless Reliance seriously upgrades its activation facilities, given the fact that there will be many more activation requests now, the activation process can turn out to be extremely frustrating. Reliance announced that instant e-KYC via Aadhaar will be up and running in six weeks' time. Promises, anyone?

There are quite a few things that Reliance isn't telling you! For example, did you know that data consumed in addition to your allotted usage will be charged at Rs. 250/GB on a 10kb pulse basis? No, not Rs.50/GB. Also, Reliance has not revealed what the subscription prices of Jio apps will be after the end of the free period.

In conclusion, personally, I am risk aversive when it comes to investing my money. So, my advice is to play the waiting game on Jio- atleast for a few weeks. Once the teething troubles are over, once the fine print is clearly visible & once customer reviews & official speed-tests start coming in, Jio promises to be a great investment & adventure! It has already forced my current mobile operator to cut 3G data prices by upto 60%! So, I'll prefer to enjoy the 'side-effects' of Jio at the moment!

American author Mark Twain famously once said : "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." Perhaps, it is indeed better to pause for a bit right now.

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Loud Silence on Independence Day

Our Prime Minister is a voracious public speaker. Statistically speaking, the PM gave a speech every 45.6 hours in the first two years of his tenure. However, on many occasions he has shown that he is not a discerning speaker. He has often failed to differentiate an 'election-rally speech' from a 'solemn occasion' speech. This year's Independence Day speech is a case in point. The PM was speaking to voters, not citizens.

Over the past two years, we've heard the PM speak at numerous ceremonies, national & international events and rallies. More often than not, he has spoken as if elections were imminent somewhere. A large portion of his speeches have been a eulogy of his government or an uncouth critique of previous governments. So, when he took the dais this Independence Day, the nation expected a speech which was at least somewhat, if not drastically, different from those he had delivered in the past. But, unfortunately it was the same 'electoral campaigner-in-chief' who spoke from the rampart of The Red Fort, not the Prime Minister. Every PM has used the Independence Day speech to highlight the achievements of his/her government. But, no PM has dedicated almost two-thirds of the speech to it.

In May 2016, a special event was held to celebrate the two years of the central government ('Ek Nayi Subah'). Less than a fortnight ago, the PM spoke at length about his government's achievements on the completion of two years of the 'mygov' app. Despite these and several other platforms through which he could have/had praised the functioning of his government, the PM decided to make it the central theme of his I-Day address. What is baffling is that if one were to exclude the short introduction and conclusion of the speech, there was nothing that was new or made it seem like an I-Day speech.

The PM could have talked about the tensions in Kashmir-whether the government had planned any confidence building measures or what had gone wrong or what would be his government's future policy on the issue, et al. Instead he spoke about the prices of LED bulbs. The PM could have assured the Dalits in his home-state of their safety and equal protection under law. Instead he spent time talking about online booking of railway tickets. The PM could have spoken about his stand on caste-based reservation stirs in Haryana & Gujarat and whether the government was formulating any policy about them. But, he chose to speak about the two-year old Jan Dhan Yojana instead.

The PM seems to view each public speaking event-irrespective of the occasion- as an opportunity to narrate his government's achievements. The PM fails to realise that in today's information age, the citizens donot want the PM to burden them with statistics, but rather take a stand on issues that matter and talk to the nation-not merely to the electorate. The citizens donot want the PM to be merely the 'chief public relations officer' of the government, but rather to be involved in the affairs of the nation at every step without trying to skip the inconvenient ones. Lal Bahadur Shastri talked about the Pak invasion in his 1965 I-Day speech; PV Narasimha Rao talked about the critical state of the econony in his I-Day speech; AB Vajpayee talked at length about Kashmir in his 2003 I-Day speech; US President B. Obama talked about gun-violence in this year's State of the Union address. Our PM should remember that leaders are those who navigate tough issues, not those who merely run media blitzkreigs.

The nation expected an I-Day speech that would be soothing for some, reassuring for some, a stern message for some, enthusiasm for others. Unfortunately, this year's Independence Day speech was a narration of information, not a conversation.

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Telly Sutra : 'Changeling' (2008)

USA, 2008.
Genres: Period Drama, Crime & Mystery.
Cast: Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich, Colm Feore, Michael Kelly, Jason Butler Harner, et al.

Writer: J. Michael Straczynski
Director: Clint Eastwood
One-Line Synopsis: In 1920s Los Angeles, a single mother tries her best to track down her missing 7-year old son.

Some movies inspire. Some characters deserve a standing ovation. Some stories give us a bright glimpse of the human spirit. Some narratives make us ashamed of the human race. Changeling has all these...and more.


Here is my quick, spoiler-free guide to whether you should watch 'Changeling' or not.


Watch it if:

• You want to watch a heart-wrenching & gritty tale of a lone fight against systemic injustice.

• You like character-centric dramas with mystery and crime to add to it.

• You like period dramas or stories from before the onset of the digital age.

• You like cop/police dramas.

• You absolutely hate corrupt public officials.

• You are a feminist or believe in the philosophy of feminism.

• You're a fan of Angelina Jolie and would like to see her in a de-glamourised role, for a change.

• You're a fan of Clint Eastwood.

(Though I highly recommend this one) Don't go for it if:

• You don't like crime dramas or period dramas.

• You're looking for a movie that cheers you up/makes you laugh.

• You don't like long movies. (2 hours, 21 minutes.)

• You only want to see Angelina Jolie when she is gun-toting, raiding tombs or beating the sh*t out of bad guys.

The Worldy Monk Rating : 9.3/10

Watch it!!!


Airs:

30th July, 2016 (Tomorrow) at 11:30 pm on MN+ HD
1st August, 2016 (Monday) at 06:50 am on MN+ HD
4th August, 2016 (Thursday)at 11:30 am on MN+ HD

How to Survive & Succeed in the Modi Cabinet: A Quick Guide

In Indian politics the only thing that comes close to the excitement & anticipation of an 'election results day' is a union cabinet reshuffle. Nervous netas & MPs keep their fingers crossed amidst hectic lobbying; journalists speculate & calculate even as the common citizen is in awe of the entire exercise.

The recent Modi government cabinet reshuffle has thrown up quite a few surprises and shocks. So, for the sake of our netas who are either trying to get into the cabinet in the future or trying to save/upgrade their ministerial chair, here's a quick guide on how to survive and succeed in the Modi cabinet.

(i) Love corporates (especially Adani). This is absolutely essential. Prakash Javdekar- the only person who got a promotion in the reshuffle, got it within 48 hours of cancelling Adani's Rs.200 crore green penalty. He did everything he could in the last two years to make 'environmental issues' the last thing the big businesses would have to worry about. From abolishing mandatory environmental clearances to removing limits on mining in protected areas, Javdekar, it seemed, was Minister of Corporate Affairs functioning from the Environment Ministry office! The PM absolutely loved it.

(ii) Keep your mouth shut (also your dad's). The PM likes speaking. A lot. However, he doesn't like hearing other people do the talking. Unfortunately, Jayant Sinha realises this only now as he sits in the Civil Aviation ministry. Perhaps, he spoke too many times to the media or was it his...father? Yashwant Sinha's criticism of Modi's Pakistan policy could have led to his son's undoing. Whatever the case, the PM will punish the son for the sins of the father and no Harvard Business School degree will help. So, zip it if you want to become or remain a mantri that matters.

(iii) "You have a right to work only, not to the fruits there of", The Gita 2:47. The likes of Piyush Goyal, Dharmendra Pradhan & Nirmala Sitharaman worked as much as the PM travelled. But, they didn't get a promotion. Their only consolation: chapter 2, verse 47 of the Gita. All claims of the government that performance was the only criterion of the reshuffle fell flat. All fears that the PM prefers only a small and exclusive coterie as his Cabinet now seem true.

(iv) Have a healthy vote-bank balance (especially caste vote). If you're from a state that is poll-bound, your chances of becoming minister go through the roof. Apparently, the PM believes that people will vote for the BJP if their region/state or caste/community is represented in the union cabinet. Interesting. By that logic all Gujaratis and all people with the surname 'Modi' will vote only for the BJP- after all the PM heads the cabinet! If you're a caste leader, good for you! You dont need to do much to get a berth either. Whether you're suitable for a portfolio or not doesn't matter. Some ministers get work done. Others are appeased to get votes on the ground.

(v) Avoid an overdose of controversies. A few controversies are good for publicity and propaganda. So, the likes of Giriraj Singh and Sadhvi Niranjan Jyoti survived the axe. But, an overdose of controversies will ruin your mantri career. Eg. Smriti Irani. A controversial statement here and there is not a problem for the PM. But, when your every action generates a controversy, no amount of RSS appeasement or saas-bahu style theatrics in Parliament will help you. Sorry Dear Smriti Irani ji.


Keep these in mind and hope for the best! And always remember the classic line from 'Yes Minister': "the prime minister giveth and the prime minister taketh away."


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